If I see one more stand-alone episode this season, I might cry.

Wife: I didn't know they'd still have shitty cars 100 years from now.
Me: *sigh* Time Travel!
Wife: Look, I am not patient. If I can't figure it out RIGHT NOW then it's STUPID.

(later)

Wife: Where do these neighborhoods exist?
Me: Um... what kind of neighborhoods?
Wife: The kind where you can just drive around in the middle of the night looking sketchy.
Me: You mean the kind with a security system and a locked gate?
Wife: God you're annoying!
Me: And you're not paying attention!
Wife: But I mean... Nobody sees this? It looks like he's carrying a dead hooker... Because he's actually carrying around an UNCONSCIOUS HOOKER.

(even later)

Wife: So this tricorder is a magical hack-anything-from-2004 machine?
Me: No. It's a hack-anything-simpler-than-itself machine. And 2004 Earth machines are definitely simpler.

(Enterprise, Season 3, Episode 11: Carpenter Street)