Halfway and counting

I'm halfway through my time out here, slowly desiccating in the wind and the sun, but hopeful... or am I depressed? Funny how perspective can change everything.

Yesterday, the relief of saying "halfway done!" was fairly overwhelming. But today, staring down the back half of this trip felt really daunting. "Halfway still to go." But such is everything?

I've adopted what I hope is a Zen attitude about life here. Not a happy existence, but it needn't be sad. I have time with my thoughts - which means my memories, fantasies, and creativity. But it also means my fears. I can make plans, set goals, and reach epiphanies, if I focus. And I can let myself play out disasters if I'm not careful.

Or I can face my fears. I can face the thoughts that make me worry about the future, about my relationships, my friends, my family. I can find the solace that meditating on my existence allows me to. The nature of my own mind has become my focus.

The frustration of not being able to act on these thoughts has me channeling that energy into my fitness, in all its forms. Physical, mental, spiritual. And, amazingly, they are overlapping more than I'd expected.

Memory, it seems from a brilliant article in Discover, is more malleable than science ever before thought. Ponder that for a second and tell me that doesn't force you to contemplate your faith in existence. Our sentience is practically called into question, yet we live! We experience the universe! How joyous is life? Love? And what a blessing to BE here, experiencing, fleeting and ephemeral as existence may be. My very physical being may be but a phenomenon of observation. I owe it to myself to make the most of that, to whatever force allows me to be conscious.

I sometimes question my faith. I think most of us do at some point. I typically conclude that, while I'm unsure at this point in my life WHAT I believe in, I am certain I DO believe.

So what's the point of my writing this? Will anyone ever read it? Has some discovery been made? Is this simply a collection of bits that will, for a time "exist?" Or am I simply sacrificing my thoughts to the internet? Good question.

Good question indeed.

I'm hot cuz I'm deployed, you ain't cuz you not.

Okay two pronged post here with a final gesture at the original point of this blog.

First, yea, I'm deployed, which means that I'm leading a rather monastic existence right now. Regimented, spartan, but with a few luxuries. I could tell you where I am and what I'm doing, but I'm not Geraldo Rivera. It is hot, though.

Second, being here has given me some time to think on things, and realize that I kinda want ot shift the focus of this blog from literally watching film and TV (which I intend to continue commenting on) to seeing life around me. Not being able to PARTICIPATE at life back home in the States, I have a unique perspective being "outside the fishbowl" as it were. I realized that even how, the way I watch film is the way I'm watching life.

I accept what's coming, and I enjoy the surprises. I don't stress out wondering "who's that guy with the knife?" or "is that the bad guy? have we seen him before?" or "what's he doing?" but rather, I appreciate the mystery. I'd like to take the time to talk about some of my thoughts and perhaps observations. The social petri dish is simply too ripe to let it go to waste. And I think it'll help me understand everything.

Okay, and last but not least, a nod to film. I saw Taken, and loved it.

And let me just say, I apologize to all of the women in the world for being somewhat turned on. There, I said it. But, I mean, I think Dr. Kinsey... I mean Liam Neeson... would say that that's okay, as long as I kill at least a hundred bad guys to set things right.

Has it really been two months?

I TOLD you guys not to expect too much from me...

Still, I owe you, dear reader or two, an apology. Two months is a far cry from "infrequent" even. It's downright dreadful.

Seeing as I can't talk about what I DO so much these days (deployment fun), I can however talk about what's on my mind pertaining, not only to movies and TV, but also various and sundry aspects of the world.

For instance: I'm sorry Michael Jackson't dead, but please continue showing me news about the rest of the damn world and LET IT GO.

And this: Dear Iran, I so dare you to prove the world right and execute that dude. We're ready to publicly smear your already tarnished global image so fast shit-through-a-goose would blush.

And last: A lot of fucking famous people died since I left the US! Holy Crap! How will my life EVER BE THE SAME???

Of note: Not watching much new TV these days, but I am happily catching up on Battlestar Galactica, which I started last time I was out here. I'm also getting some decent movie watching in, including I Love You, Man and The Shawshank Redemption. Both awesome.

Oh, and Strange Brew. When I told the rest of the crew it was just Hamlet in a brewery in Canada, my literary criticism was met with "hey nerd, it's a movie about BEER!"

It makes me long for my wife's more polite questions about impending plot developments.

Star Trek

Approved. Definitely go see this movie, but definitely do NOT wear a red shirt! Old timey trekkers know what I mean by this :)

She couldn't go very long without asking "did that happen in the original series?" And, without offering any spoilers, All I could say was, "just relax. It'll all work itself out, I'm sure." Because I KNOW HOW TO BE PATIENT AND LET A MOVIE REVEAL THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS!

Also, have a little TNG parody break today. You've earned it.
Brokeback Enterprise

Wolverine

I didn't think it was that bad, but SHE did.  Granted, a movie can only include SO MANY times where the main character stands over a corpse and screams into the sky, but I suppose my tolerace for campiness in comic book movies is higher than most.

However, I was TOTALLY pissed that one would choose to completely butcher so many popular characters' origins in order to tell one origin story.  Though, if their dedication to continuity is anything like the last two X-Men films, I shouldn't fear that they can go ahead and accurately tell every other story regardless of the "facts" they've established.

Oh.  And I twitter now.  The blog may be dead... or maybe revived!  Who knows.

emart83

re: Watchmen

Lisa: "That's not how Lee Iacocca died!"

HERE WE GO!

Okay, so this time of year, I suppose most of my "watching" revolves around the NFL. Specifically, the STEELERS!

WOO!

I explained homefield advantage during the playoffs last night, and generally speaking, there wasn't a lot of "shutting up" necessary. My wife is my sports-watching partner. I cannot express how awesome this is. I love that my girl gets into sports - especially when they matter to me!

So it seems this blog has, as they do, strayed from its intent. Bite me. I like it this way! I'll keep the title, but maybe post increasingly arbitrary content. I love it.

And Go Steelers! Another Super Bowl!

Wish I were going...